4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Did I show you my penis last night?
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
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