You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize