i would punch a child for taco bell
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
