she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Randomize