i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
You can't motorboat a personality
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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