I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize
