we're blogging at a bar
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
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