Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
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I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
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If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
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