Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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