You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
