i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
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