How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I'm eating all of the evidence.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
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