Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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