Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"

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(313): View more from Michigan

How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?

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(207): View more from Maine

Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.

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(217): View more from Illinois

I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.

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(514): View more from Quebec

OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?

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(774): View more from Massachusetts

Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?

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(410): View more from Maryland

Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.

(1-410): View more from Maryland

Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.

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(618): View more from Illinois

Its one of those days... someone might die

(1-618): View more from Illinois

Would a picture of my dick help?

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