I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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