I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
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