my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
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