What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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