I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
