Do you still have your period?
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
