when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Why are your pants in the freezer?
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
