I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
