I think scott just propositioned me for sex
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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