I wish i was in the wii world.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
