Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
