i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
