I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize