can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize