Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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