She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
