he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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