you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
grandma shit on top of the toilet
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize
