We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Man, jail baloney is awful.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
sex in a hospital.. check
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
