he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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