i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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