Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
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