Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
