If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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