ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
