YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
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