yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
