Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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