WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
