turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Randomize
