so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
No subtext here. People are naked.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Randomize
