Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I just forgot I was standing up.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize
