i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
