you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
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