Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
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