Got a toothbrush?
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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