there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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