I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
is this the sara with the beer cane?
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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