there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
