It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
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