you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
There's even glitter on my cock...
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