Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
