A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
